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What is a personality disorder?
Our personality is our usual way of seeing ourselves and the world, managing feelings and getting along with others. In a personality disorder, these patterns are rigid and extreme enough to cause repeated suffering — for the person and for those around them — across many situations, usually since the teenage years.
The term can sound harsh, but it does not mean someone is a “bad person”. Many people with these difficulties have experienced stress, trauma or invalidation growing up, and their patterns once helped them cope. With the right therapy, they can change.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
Also called emotionally unstable personality disorder, BPD is the personality disorder most often seen in clinics. Common features include:
- Very intense emotions that change quickly — anger, sadness, anxiety
- Strong fear of being abandoned, and frantic efforts to avoid it
- Intense, unstable relationships that swing between closeness and conflict
- Impulsive behaviour — spending, substance use, binge eating, reckless driving
- Self-harm or suicidal threats or attempts, often during emotional crises
- Chronic feelings of emptiness and an unstable sense of identity
- Feeling detached or suspicious under extreme stress
Other personality patterns
| Pattern | Typical features |
|---|---|
| Anxious-avoidant | Extreme sensitivity to criticism, feeling inadequate, avoiding people and opportunities despite wanting closeness. |
| Dependent | Great difficulty making decisions or being alone; relying heavily on others for reassurance and care. |
| Obsessive-compulsive (anankastic) | Perfectionism, rigid rules and need for control that harm relationships and productivity. Different from OCD. |
| Paranoid | Long-standing mistrust and suspicion of others’ motives. |
| Narcissistic or antisocial | Difficulties with empathy, entitlement, or disregard for rules and others’ rights. |
Modern classification (ICD-11) describes personality disorder by its severity and main traits, rather than forcing people into rigid boxes. What matters most is understanding the specific patterns that cause difficulty.
What causes personality disorders?
- Temperament and genes — some people are born more emotionally sensitive or impulsive.
- Early environment — childhood trauma, neglect, abuse, bullying or growing up where feelings were dismissed.
- Ongoing stress — conflict, losses and substance use can intensify patterns.
Treatment
Psychotherapy is the main treatment
Structured therapies help people understand their emotions, tolerate distress without self-harm, manage relationships and build a stable sense of self. Approaches include dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) skills, mentalisation-based therapy, schema therapy and CBT. Dr. Ajmera’s training in integrative psychotherapy for emotion management focuses on exactly these skills. See psychotherapy at the clinic.
Role of medicines
There is no medicine that treats a personality disorder itself. Medicines may be used for co-existing depression, anxiety, sleep problems or severe emotional swings, usually for a limited period and as part of a wider plan.
Involving family
Families benefit from learning how to respond calmly during crises, validate feelings without rewarding harmful behaviour, and look after themselves.
Personality disorders in Gujarati & Hindi
In Gujaratiગુજરાતીમાં
પર્સનાલિટી ડિસઓર્ડર એટલે શું?
પર્સનાલિટી ડિસઓર્ડરમાં વિચારવાની, લાગણીઓ સંભાળવાની અને લોકો સાથે વર્તવાની રીત લાંબા સમયથી એવી હોય છે કે વ્યક્તિ અને પરિવારને વારંવાર તકલીફ પડે છે. બોર્ડરલાઇન પર્સનાલિટી ડિસઓર્ડર (BPD)માં તીવ્ર લાગણીઓ, ત્યજી દેવાનો ડર, આવેગમાં પગલાં અને પોતાને નુકસાન કરવાની વૃત્તિ જોવા મળે છે. મનોચિકિત્સા (થેરાપી)થી ધીમે ધીમે સારો સુધારો થાય છે.
- ઝડપથી બદલાતી તીવ્ર લાગણીઓ અને ગુસ્સો
- સંબંધોમાં વારંવાર તણાવ
- આવેગમાં ખર્ચ, નશો કે જોખમી વર્તન
- અંદરથી ખાલીપણાની લાગણી
ગુજરાતીમાં પરામર્શ માટે કૉલ કરો: +91 78610 24557
In Hindiहिंदी में
पर्सनालिटी डिसऑर्डर क्या है?
पर्सनालिटी डिसऑर्डर में सोचने, भावनाएँ संभालने और लोगों से व्यवहार करने का तरीका लंबे समय से ऐसा होता है कि व्यक्ति और परिवार को बार-बार परेशानी होती है। बॉर्डरलाइन पर्सनालिटी डिसऑर्डर (BPD) में तीव्र भावनाएँ, छोड़ दिए जाने का डर, आवेग में कदम और खुद को नुकसान पहुँचाने की प्रवृत्ति दिखती है। साइकोथेरेपी से धीरे-धीरे अच्छा सुधार होता है।
- तेज़ी से बदलती तीव्र भावनाएँ और गुस्सा
- रिश्तों में बार-बार तनाव
- आवेग में ख़र्च, नशा या जोखिम भरा व्यवहार
- अंदर से खालीपन महसूस होना
हिंदी में परामर्श के लिए कॉल करें: +91 78610 24557
Consultations are available in English, Hindi and Gujarati.
Frequently asked questions
Can personality disorders be treated?
Yes. Although they were once thought to be unchangeable, research shows that people with personality disorders — especially BPD — improve significantly with specialised psychotherapy and time. Many no longer meet the criteria years later.
What is the difference between BPD and bipolar disorder?
In bipolar disorder, mood changes come in distinct episodes lasting days to weeks, with changes in sleep and energy. In BPD, emotions shift quickly — often within hours — usually in response to relationship stress. The treatments differ, so an accurate assessment matters. See bipolar disorder.
Is there medicine for borderline personality disorder?
No medicine treats BPD itself. Psychotherapy is the main treatment. Medicines may help with co-existing depression, anxiety or sleep problems, or for short periods during a crisis.
How long does therapy take?
Personality-focused therapy is usually longer than therapy for a single problem — often weekly sessions over many months. Many people notice fewer crises and better relationships well before therapy ends.
Can teenagers be diagnosed with a personality disorder?
Clinicians are cautious, because personality is still developing in the teenage years. However, early signs such as repeated self-harm and intense emotional swings deserve early help — which can change the course of a young person’s life.